Dear POTS and Lyme…can you just stay gone…indefinitely? Cause’ that’d be great…
I had a 6 day beautiful stretch without you. That’s right people, I was totally fatigue free for 6 days…that’s 144 hours, 8,640 seconds of feeling rested! The dizziness was there in certain moments, but was controllable with water, salt, food, medicine and rest. I felt amazing, dare I say it again? I felt AMAZEBALLS! I had moments over the past week where I felt like Samantha, I felt like MYSELF. How great is that?!? I found myself *gasp* forgetting that I was sick. I really didn’t think that would ever happen for me again. So, YAY! The dizziness is starting to creep back in on a more regular basis and POTS and Lyme are starting to show their ugly faces, but it’s okay because I KNOW that there is a possibility of me being me again. Is it still hard? Yes. Is it frustrating that I cannot just be me everyday? Absolutely. BUT, there is hope, and I really can feel it. It’s not just a tag line. It’s real…and how awesome is that?!
This is day 10 of a really good stretch for me. I haven’t felt this well since before I got sick and you know what? I’ve actually been afraid to talk about it. I’ve been afraid to blog about it. It was almost as if I mentioned it that it would slip away, like I would jinx myself or something. I felt like I was talking about Lord Voldemort in Harry Potter, “he who will not be named”. Don’t speak of it!
But today I had a change of heart, and I chose to be honest with myself. Something that has bothered me about the chronic illness blogs is that they are mostly discussions of symptoms, medications and honestly, people talking about how crappy they feel. Don’t get me wrong, my blog is no exception to this rule! I’ve discussed all of those things! What I’ve found that is missing is the true daily successes and struggles of being sick. On the good days people don’t want to stop and write about it because (quite frankly) they’re feeling so good, who wants to stop and blog?!?! But, that can send the message that there aren’t any good days, they’re aren’t any good spells, and for me that just isn’t true. So, here it is….today, I’m doing okay, and I have been for a little while now! If you have a chronic illness and you’re reading this, please please please know that there is hope for good days, even a good week! It’s possible! It’s happening to me right now! It may not last forever, but just knowing that the possibility is real….well that’s enough for me…at least for right now!