some up and some down…

Just passed the 4 week post surgery mark! Things are a little more settled in some ways, and a little more unsettled in others. First and foremost, I have to note that I am 10 days midodrine free! That’s right ladies and gentlemen, my blood pressure has been stabilized and the dizziness is under control, on my own, without the assistance of a medication…can I get an amen?! This is HUGE. I’m trying not to get too exited about it…it feels like if I say it out loud then the universe will come back and knock me down a peg…so everyone, please, knock on wood for me! Midodrine is a great med because I can take it as I need it, so if I relapse a bit, I can hop back on the  med and find some relief. But, for now, 1 POTS med is going unused!

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In other news, I think I may be pushing myself a bit too hard and my post surgery body is starting to get mad at me. I’m having more bleeding than I should, and according to the doctor, I need to go back to bed and rest. Ha! Easy for her to say! Does she have two little ones home on April vacation?! I didn’t think so! 😉 I did have no choice but to listen to my body yesterday…the morning was great, I was able to take the kids to the playground, and treated them to their first “summer”ice cream cone! When we got home I suddenly began to lose a lot of blood and had a migraine that made it impossible to open my eyes, let alone sit up and watch the kids! The fatigue was unimaginable. I had to send out an SOS to my aunt, and she came to the rescue and  took the kids. It was one of those moments that I felt so thankful to live so close to family, and also so incredibly guilty that my kids have to have a mommy who is chronically ill. Heartbreaking to say the least. Lot’s of tears were shed after they left. It’s not all funny puns and cute memes, being chronically ill is a bitch, and can be so depressing…

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Today is a better day, the sun is starting to peek through the clouds, and the kids are giggling and happy. They seem to have already forgotten the drama from yesterday. They are so amazing. Colby (6) woke me up this morning by rubbing my head and asking if it still hurt. Sophie (3) jumped up on the bed and asked if I needed her to make me some pancakes. It was adorable. Sure, they were totally buttering me up because they wanted to have a popsicle at 8am, but the sentiment was there.

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The lesson from all of this is something that I’ve talked about before, but I still struggle with it. I need to ask for help when I need it. Maybe even before I need it! My aunt totally saved me yesterday…and she was happy I reached out. Instead of feeling insanely guilty when I need help, I need to just relax and know that the people who love me WANT to help. It’s a work in progress…16ce6d52b29b86ec1f467f85d5c165e1.jpg

 

 

 

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One thought on “some up and some down…

  1. Hi Sammy, So glad you are doing well and love hearing about the kids. Please tell Paul Happy Birthday a bit late. I am inundated with this course for EMT, but will be done soon. Looking forward to seeing you this summer. Hugs and kisses to the kids!

    Love, Merrill/Grammy Merrill

    On Sat, Apr 23, 2016 at 12:06 PM, choosing to live a happy life whi

    Like

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