Welcome back readers! It’s been seven months since I last published a blog entry…so much has happened I’ll give you the basic run down…
- I graduated and earned my master’s degree…if you have been following my journey you know that this degree had been the cause of many tears–both happy and sad! I didn’t know if it would be possible for me to finish since I became sick and received my POTS diagnosis right in the middle of my program…but, I’m so happy (and proud!) to report that I did it!
- Along with my masters I accepted a new job, and I am now an assistant principal of a high school…I know what you’re thinking…”what?! is she crazy?!” the answer to this is just simply, yes. Yes, I am. But, I do love it, and I absolutely refuse to let my illness keep me from realizing my dreams…#potscansuckit!
- We relocated our family. This is also something that I’ve written about time and time again. We now live where my commute to work is three miles. You read that right, THREE miles. My doctors office is in the same town, and it doesn’t take us an hour to get in and out of town. The potsie in me is SO happy with this change. I feel safer here…everything I need is at my finger tips. This was a very good move for my health…and sanity!
- My amazing support team and I participated in the POTS 5K in Massachusetts and it was an experience that changed my life. It was joyous, and scary, and hard, and wonderful all at the same time. Sometimes this illness can make me feel so alone, but this made me feel so supported, and so connected to others. AND we raised a ton of money for Dysautonomia International. A win, win!
- Our family added a new member…a little French Bulldog named Bruin. He’s the best snuggle buddy and he never leaves my side when I’m not feeling well…I swear he just knows when I need him.
Those are the major milestones…so that brings us to today, and why I decided to start down the blogging road again…
I am in a flare, a bad one, and I realized that I’ve stopped putting focus on my recovery…I went through a very long time of feeling okay…never feeling “normal” but feeling like I was managing my symptoms. I fell off track, and it caught up with me. When I first began to get my life back I was on top of my game. I drank a gallon of water everyday, I ate healthy (with lot’s of added salt…thanks POTS), I was religious about taking my medications, I worked out every. single. day, and I was open, honest and engaging with people about this syndrome. For me, that was the magic recipe, and I need to get that back.
You hear people say it all the time…the first step is admitting you have a problem. Well, I have a “problem” and the problem is that I have a chronic illness. Even though I am positive (99% of the time), and I absolutely refuse to let this illness run my life, it’s still there, and pretending that it isn’t is just making me sick(er). I need to remember that there is no shame in this…and blogging helps me to connect to others who are going through the same thing. It also helps the people around me to understand what is going on. My mom reminded me today, it doesn’t make you look weak…it shows your power and strength. So, be ready for some more regular updates…you’ve been warned!
So, what did POTS do to me today? Well, I’m so glad you asked! Today I woke up with a migraine from hell…and I just couldn’t keep it at bay. I had to take my rescue med, which exacerbates my tachycardia and dizziness. I was walking to the stairs to go get my laundry, had a pre-syncope episode, everything went black…and down the stairs I went. The worst part? I was home alone with my 3 year old and I totally scared the crap out of her. That really is the worst feeling…it hurt more than the fall. I wish I could keep my kids sheltered from this shitty illness…but sometimes it takes over our household…and it did today. I’ve been on the couch binge watching netflix, and feeling pretty sorry for myself…but more for my husband and my kids. This just isn’t easy on anyone.
Tomorrow is a new day, and I’m hopeful that I will get back on track soon. I will push through it…I always do! My husband reminded me today that I have a 100% success rate of getting through flares…so I know this can be done. So, tomorrow marks day 1 of the old program. Water, healthy living, exercise, medication, extra sleep, and more transparency about what’s going on.
Take that, POTS!